New blog, dinner with the neighbors, and Oregon still rules.

Hello readers, long time no update. I've been spending most of my time as of late doing research for my more serious blog (entitled Brew Oregon and focusing mostly on - what else? - Oregon Brews.) I've had a few maintenance issues - such as all of my content being spontaneously deleted?! - but it is now thankfully up and running at http://www.oregonbrew.blogspot.com/.

OKAY, enough shameless plugging and onto the real point of these things, which of course is to treat you to the delightful ramblings of mypathetic attempt at a social life within the confines of my 20,000 person town.

Last night I embarked on a previously unattempted good ol' American tradition: Dinner with my neighbors. My roommate and I recently moved into a house in a classic little suburb, surrounded by other houses just like ours with lawns just like ours and people just like each other. The inhabitants of our new neighborhood are like something from the Stepford Wives. There are a few specific requirements that must be met in order to be socially acceptable in this neighborhood:

1) A balding, slightly overweight man who has stopped trying to hide the fact that he's pushing fifty.
2) A woman who bleaches her hair once a week in order to pacify herself for not quite being able to afford plastic surgery.
3) One or more children, preferably under the age of 10. Must be fond of running, yelling, and throwing rocks.
4) A dog that enjoys barking from the hours of midnight to 6am.
5) An expensive lawn mower that must always be making plenty of noise right around the time the dog stops barking.

Needless to say my roommate and I, being the trendy young people we are, haven't found much in common within our geographical sphere.

To our delight, a week ago a pristine restored '69 Volkswagen beetle pulled into the previously unoccupied residence directly across the alley from us, and who should hop out but a young couple! Complete with framed artwork, bohemian clothing, and matching nose rings, they were the perfect neighbors. They wasted no time crossing the alley and introducing themselves, and soon we had planned on having dinner together the following weekend after they had gotten settled.

The appointed date arrived, and armed with a few 22's of meal appropriate brew [in this case Rogue's Smoke Ale - to compliment the spicy mexican food], we ventured across the alley and knocked on the door. The first thing to be noted about Colby and Claire is not their adorably matching names, their matching nose rings, or even their matching passions [literature, art, and photography]. The first thing to be noted about Colby and Claire is that they are nice. And I'm not talking socially acceptable nice, I'm talking really, really nice. Like, door-to-door salesman nice; and being the card carrying cynic that I am, something just didn't sit right with me from the first moment. No one is that nice without an agenda.

The feeling was only enhanced when Colby admitted to being unimpressed by Rogue microbrews. He even went so far as to openly state his dislike for Dead Guy, which to me is little less than blasphemy. After politely suggesting some Rogue brews that he should perhaps sample, and pointing him in the direction of their website and the closest Rogue brew pub, I politely ceased my brewery plugging for the sake of neighborly kindness and proceeded to graciously accept a microbrew from him as a truce.

Upon examination of the bottle I now held in my hand, I realized two things simeltaneously:

Firstly, that the beer was a Raspberry Wheat Ale... shudder. Secondly, that it was made by a semi-large scale brewery in Maine. Now, if you've been following my blog [or worse, know me personally] you'll have already discerned that I had a few problems with this scenario.

A) Fruit has no place in beer. Nor do sweeteners of any kind.
B) The list of ingredients was longer than my thumb.
C) WE LIVE IN OREGON. Why is it neccessary to get your beer from Maine?

Dinner and drinks ensued, and the conversation flowed without pause or awkwardness. It was the perfect neighbor date... except for this nagging feeling I couldn't shake. Were they cyborgs? Army recruiters? Members of some freaky cult? It had to be something...

It wasn't until almost an hour later that I realized the truth. Several references were made to religion over the course of the evening, references which I tried my best to avoid. Religion is not my favorite topic of conversation, especially at a meet-and-greet neighborly dinner party. The hints however, just kept coming over the course of the night. I was on my second beer before I put together these comments, the titles in their living room library, and their overall 'nicer-than-thou' attitude.

My new neighbors are Christians.

I felt betrayed more than anything. Christians are easily avoidable when they wear sweater-vests and have Jesus fish on the back of their mini-vans and try to convert you openly at every available opportunity. These new neighbors of mine were hiding their true nature behind art-degrees and nose piercings and attempts to win us over with tacos and beer...

The conversion countdown begins now.

The real point here however, was not to wax irritated about religion in my backyard, but to point out a personal character defining trait buried deep within the scenario:

I was more upset that Colby didn't like Rogue Brews than I was about his hidden agenda. Read: My beer preference takes precedence over my personal spiritual beliefs. I can't decide for sure whether that is a good thing or not, but for now I'll just leave it alone to ferment. Hopefully it will become culturally relevant at some point.

Another noteworthy occurrance this week is that the great state of Oregon CLEANED UP at the Great American Beer Festival hosted this weekend in Denver, raking in 18 awards total including first place for in Portland in the category of American-Style Amber/Red Ale [Dry Hopped Red by Rogue], and second place in the category of Specialty Beer [Hazelnut Brown Nectar, also by Rogue, and one of the best beers that has ever passed my lucky lips].

The full list of Oregon winners can be found at http://www.bizjournals.com/portland/stories/2008/10/13/daily3.html if anyone's interested in checking that out.

One last thing to note is that I am now a proud contributor on the beer channel at Helium.com, a full list of my personal articles can be found at http://www.helium.com/users/468895/show_articles.

Okay folks, that's all for now.
Cheers!